2nd Pregnancy Week 20

Is it me or am I somehow more emotionally volatile during this second pregnancy?  I remember being emotional during the first pregnancy, but surely not to this extent.

Hubby’s dog died recently – it wasn’t as if I was particularly close to him – but I bawled my eyes when it happened.  When my SIL started crying, I cried, too.

I had a little tiff with hubby – just one of those usual squabbles that husbands and wives usually run into from time to time – and the dam burst as if we were having a major tiff.  Heck, I can remember the days when even a major tiff couldn’t get a tear rolling, and now look at me!

I was reading a book and I started sobbing – I wasn’t even crying any more – I was sobbing!  I watch something on TV and it makes me cry – and it drives me insane because hubby finds it so amusing and I feel like cuffing him for it.

And that’s not all.  I was walking through a department store recently and for no reason at all, I felt as if I was about to cry.  Now what the heck is all that about?

It’s not just the crying.  My temper seems a little short fused, too.  Admittedly, I was always a bit of a hot-head in my younger days, but I thought becoming a parent seemed to have mellowed me out quite a bit.  Not so if you have seen the way I’ve reacted over little things lately.

Aside from the uncontrolled emotions, I also seem excessively anxious.  They say that having been through pregnancy once before makes it easier the second time.  Well, for some reason, I feel even more apprehensive about the delivery this time around.  During the first pregnancy, I’m sure I managed to put all thoughts about the delivery out of my head until I was almost ready to pop.  Lately, all I can think about is the delivery and I can’t say the thoughts are particularly positive ones.

Is it my emotional state affecting me, or am I just becoming more fearful with age?  During the last doctor’s appointment, Dr Wong took a blood sample from me.  Ordinarily, I don’t sweat it about needles – I don’t like them, but I reckon I handle them pretty well.  But that time, I felt so tense, I was starting to sweat at the thought of the needle drawing my blood.

Psychological effects aside, here are the physical developments to date:

• My hairfall cycles have decreased dramatically and my hair does feel great.  Even when I don’t do much to it, it still looks a lot better than it did before I got pregnant.
• Starting to feel a general apathy about food with occasional madness for specific things that go through phases.  For instance, I had an enormous soya bean craze and couldn’t get enough of it.  I could have been content eating nothing but Tofu Fa.  However, that phase has since passed and I think I’m pretty over it.
• Despite only being five months pregnant, I feel like I’m at least seven months gone.  I move like it and I have the energy levels like it.  I hate to think how much bigger I’m going to be when I really get there.
• Whether it is due to my size or the fact that I’m still co-sleeping with a toddler, sleeping seems to be rather uncomfortable.  I wake up with a lower back ache sometimes even though there has been nothing odd about the way I slept (at least – not that I am aware of).
• Energy levels are down considerably, which might be due to the fact that I’m under the weather with a cold (don’t worry, not Swine Flu – no fever, chills or aches).  Considering that Gavin has the same bug, I’m surprised by how well he’s taking it.  I certainly look a lot worse for wear.
• My belly has finally surpassed that of the hubby’s.

As you can see, I no longer chase Gavin around the playground but have enlisted my SIL’s boyfriend to do that task for me.