Some time towards the end of last year, Gavin appeared to be fighting off his afternoon naps. He would push the time back later and later. And if he slept in the afternoon, he would push his bed time back later. It seemed like we were fighting in the afternoon and at night to get him to fall asleep. The “winding” down period could take as long as one hour, sometimes two. It also seemed like we were forever playing catch up with the sleeping hours. Some days, he would only get by on 9 hours of sleep in total (afternoon nap plus overnight sleep). If we were lucky, he would catch 10 hours.
Something had to change. So over Gavin’s end of year holidays, we tried cutting out his afternoon nap to see how it went.
The good news was that I was no longer taking one to two hours to help him wind down for sleep. He would be out in 5 to 10 minutes. The bad news was that he would start melting by about dinner time. Since any drastic change like this was to be expected, we kept to the routine to see if he could adjust to it. Some days were good, some days were not so good. Occasionally, he would crash in the afternoon on his own if it was a particularly big day but we’d be back to the usual schedule again the following day.
It is difficult to tell whether he still needs the afternoon nap or not. This is one gray area in child rearing that varies from toddler to toddler. Some toddlers drop their naps earlier while others are still napping at five. It is difficult to say which type of toddler Gavin is. Knowing how important sleep is to a child, I do get quite anal about it. At the same time, I know being stressed about it doesn’t help.
Now that Gavin is back to school and taking the Flexi-hour program which includes an afternoon nap, hubby and I have been interested to see how the teachers manage him at school during “nap time”. So when I picked him up from school, I asked the teachers if he napped in the afternoon. The answer was: no, he did not.
This was exactly what hubby and I had been afraid of. It was no so much that we were worried he would not sleep. What we were worried about was that he would disturb the other children while they slept – or rather when they were supposed to be sleeping.
When we got home, this was the conversation I had with Gavin…
Me: Did you sleep at school today?
G: No.
Me: Did you disturb the other children at school?
G: No.
Me: You didn’t wake up the other children?
G: No.
Me: What did you do when they were sleeping?
G: I played.
Me: What did you play?
G: Hide and Seek.
Me: Were you hiding or looking?
G: Hiding.
Me: Who were you hiding from?
G: The teachers.
Well, the good news is that he didn’t disturb the other children. However, I do wonder how long this is going to go on before the teachers get tired of “hide and seek” and call us to take him home.
Anyway, here’s what I’d like to know:
How many hours of sleep does your toddler get during a twenty-four hour period? Does your toddler still nap in the afternoon?
MieVee @ MummysReviews.com says
My boy is pre-toddler age, so his sleeping hours aren’t relevant. I solved his napping problems since young by referring to The No-Cry Nap Solution by Elizabeth Pantley (reviewed at http://mummysreviews.com/tag/Elizabeth-pantley/). She has a book on sleeping solution for toddlers.
Children may become very cranky when they don’t sleep enough. They may not realize that they are tired, and even resist naps (like my boy did since he was 10 weeks old), so parents need to observe their children and help them get sufficient sleep.
Hui-Wearn says
my boy who is now 4 is also resisting his afternoon naps. sometimes when he doesn’t nap he gets somehow ‘cranky’ towards dinner time, tends to throw more tantrums and he even fell asleep a couple of times in the car whenever we go out shopping in the evening.
he usually naps 1-2 hours in the afternoon and sleeps for about 8-9 hours at night.
Shen-Li says
MieVee – I feel like I’ve been fighting Gavin on the sleep battle since he was little. I’ve tried a lot of methods to get him to sleep without much success. There was a lot of stuff about following a routine but that never worked with Gavin. A routine only told him what was coming – bed time – and he never wanted that. So the moment he became familiar with a routine, we’d have to change it because he’d start fighting even before we got anywhere near the bed.
These days aren’t so bad in the sense that I can get him to sleep. My problem is getting him to sleep “enough”. At this age he still needs about 11 hours in total (overnight plus nap) but sometimes he barely gets 9 and that really worries me. When he’s up, he’s up. There is no way to extend his sleep. Hence the reason why I cut the afternoon nap – in hope that the change in routine can help him sleep longer. And it did – for a while.
Hui-Wearn – Gavin gets cranky towards dinner time, too – when he doesn’t nap in the afternoon. But it varies. There are good days and bad days. When it’s bad, he might fall asleep in the car on the way home from shopping – like your son. Or he might even fall asleep in the stroller while we’re out – that was something that would NEVER happen in the past.
Now that he’s taking the extended hours at school and having nap time in the afternoon, I hope that he might adjust better since all the other kids are also sleeping. We’ll see how it goes…
MieVee @ MummysReviews.com says
At the end of the nap or bedtime routine, my boy would refuse to remain lying down to sleep. He’d climb all over me and I’d have to bounce or nurse him to sleep. I’d let him have his way, as long as he sleeps enough, even though he stirs very frequently for my attention to help him continue sleeping.
He has refused sleeping in the pram since little and has recently refused sleeping in the car seat. Therefore, we plan outdoor activities around his awake times. Evening shopping is a luxury forgone since he was 3 months old. Any shopping is done within 1-2 hours in the afternoon so that we can reach home in time for his nap.
Whenever my husband and i see kids asleep outdoors, we are filled with envy. 🙂 Some children enjoy the world too much to want to sleep.
Shen-Li says
Yeah, I had to nurse Gavin to sleep or rock him. The interesting thing was that although I could never get him to fall asleep while we were out, hubby could. Vice versa, hubby could never get him to fall asleep at home while I could.
To get Gavin to sleep enough, I’d have to lie down next to him or sleep with him. If I left, he’d wake up. It meant I couldn’t do much when he was sleeping, except rest – which probably wasn’t a bad thing.
Hubby, too, used to look at other parents’ children in envy when they slept in the pram. Actually, he used to look at them in envy whenever their children sat in a pram without howling or screaming to get out.
I never bothered to take the pram out when Gavin was little. I just carried him everywhere in a carrier because I’d end up pushing an empty pram and carrying him in my arms so it was quite pointless to have the pram. Nowadays, he likes it, though. He’s discovered the advantages of being pushed around rather than having to walk himself.
MieVee @ MummysReviews.com says
Haha… my boy and Gavin are very alike, guess these are the typical characteristics of high-needs babies. If we let him nap outside, he’d wake up after about 30min, which isn’t sufficient rest, so we gave up doing that. Sometimes when he stirs at night and needs help getting back to sleep, I’ll give his Dad a chance to bounce him. It works at times.
I’m glad to have come across the term ‘high-needs babies’ when trying to solve his sleeping problems, else I’d have thought I’ve ‘spoilt’ him.
Shen-Li says
Yeah, Gavin used to nap only for 30 minutes when he fell asleep while we were out. It was so accurate, you didn’t even need to watch the clock! So I would only allow him to nap while we were out during the time when he was on two naps. When he shifted to one nap, I would always rush him home for the nap because I needed to make sure he could sleep longer.
It wasn’t until recently that hubby was able to help Gavin settle back to sleep. In the earlier days, it always had to be me.
Thankfully, I know enough mothers whose children are the same to know that this is quite normal for some children – else I would have felt the same.
Rinu says
Hi everyone,
Afternoon naps are very important for a baby. It helps in the growth of the baby physically and mentally. My daughter is 4 yrs. I fixed up a routine for her when she started going to pre-school. Once she is back from school i first give her a oil massage followed by warm water bath. After which she finishes her lunch. I make sure she eats her lunch well after which she is ready to go to bed. I put her to sleep and a she sleeps peacefully for 2 hrs. Once she wakes up she has a glass of milk after which she goes out to play. Around 8:30 – 9 pm she has her dinner and by 9:30 pm she is in bed. She wakes up by 7 in the morning and the routine follows.
The catch is whenever she is awake i keep her busy all the time. I encourage her to play games which require lot of running, hopping etc. This will make them tired and they sleep peacefully. Giving oil massages followed by warm shower also melts them to sleep. Always make sure that they are fed properly before sleeping so that they dnt wake up of hunger. Hope these tips will help you get your baby his/her proper sleep.
Good luck,
Rinu