I mentioned in my previous post that it has been difficult to work on these early child development programs with an infant when you have an older child present. However, now that I consider the scope of these early child development programs in their entirety, I’m just wondering how any parent manages to do all of these programs with their babies exactly as recommended with or without the older child present.
For the sake of simplicity, let’s just look at the Doman programs. They have:
- How to teach your baby to read
- How to teach your baby math
- How to give your baby encyclopedic knowledge
- How to teach your baby to be physically superb
The recommendation for the flash cards is three times a day for reading, three times a day for math, three times a day for encyclopedic knowledge (and that’s before you add in all the other additional activities within each program). On top of that, you need to give your baby 10 sessions of tummy time, 10 sessions to practice his grasp reflex, and fifteen activities for the balance program (which I have not even gotten to yet).
In between all this learning, your baby needs to feed and sleep – let’s not even talk about all the other things you need to do in your life (run errands, household chores, look after the other children, and possibly work if you aren’t a SAHM). Gareth is a breastfed baby and he can be on the breast almost every other hour sometimes. If he’s not on the breast, he’s sleeping. He doesn’t seem to have many waking hours.
In fact, the other day when I put him on his tummy for tummy time, he did a bit of wriggling and then he stopped. At first I thought he was just resting so I waited with my hands resting against his feet so he could launch off my hands. When he didn’t move for a while, I looked around at this face and saw that his eyes were shut and he had fallen asleep!
Of course when your baby grows older, he will have more waking hours but many of these programs need to begin almost immediately after birth. Every month you wait, you lose out on tapping into that early natural potential.
And then if you want to do the whole natural infant hygiene thing… well, I guess what I’m saying is that even as a full time Mum, I just can’t see how it is possible to fit everything in. Perhaps this is one of those things where you have to choose what you want your baby to focus on – brains or brawn. Just like we can’t all be experts at everything, there is a need to either choose to specialise or become a jack of all trades. Or am I just an incompetent Mum with poor time management?
Lorry says
Hmm. I didn’t do any programs, or even give tummy time at all, and my girl was still furniture cruising at five months old. I don’t think she could have tapped into any physical development any sooner.
Vivian says
I constantly wonder myself, if my child will be deprived of achieving certain development/milestones because I’m too lazy/have no time to do what I’m supposed to do to help/expose my child to the many learning opportunities. I have fears that my child wouldn’t be smart enough just because I didn’t give her a headstart early in her life. I wonder if she will be limited to my level of intelligence because there’s a limit to what I am able teach her.
I feel as if I’m thrown back into my school days when I’m required to be constantly studying/working hard to ensure that I’m not behind in my studies!
Shen-Li says
Lorry – I think some children just have a natural instinct for these things whereas other children need a little more encouragement. My older boy was never particularly physically inclined. In fact, he balked at anything physical and it always took a lot of cajoling and encouragement to get him to try new activities.
I sort of hoped he would be more like me – stemming doorways and corridors, and brachiating monkey bars – but he doesn’t even want to try even if I promise to hold him.
I’m sure all children will eventually develop when they are ready, but the Doman line of thinking is that there is a way to help children tap into that natural potential and it begins from birth. Taping into their potential at an early age helps them to learn more quicklky and easily. The idea is not to stress them out but teach them to enjoy the process.
Vivian – I suppose that’s my motivation for doing all this with my children. I remember wishing that things would come more easily for me when I was in school. I had friends who picked up everything so easily and I would be struggling to remember stuff. If there was a way to help my kids develop in a way that was fun for them and would make life easier for them, then why not?
It is a dedicated process and I confess that sometimes I am too lazy/impatient/have no time for it. Nevertheless, I figure doing a little of something is better than doing nothing at all. Plus, when you do see results, it’s very inspiring – like when my son started recognising words I didn’t even think he was learning!
MieVee @ MummysReviews.com says
10 sessions of tummy time? Erm, my boy had only 2 short wakeful periods in the early months. I’m wondering how to squeeze all that activities in. My nurse suggested 2 sessions of 5-10 min each, which were very manageable and my boy did achieve his milestones relatively early or on time.
Flashcards need very little time: 200 cards within 5 min, since each card takes only about 1 second. During weekdays at home, 2-3 sessions of 5-10 min each are very achievable. Once after breakfast & once after lunch. 200 cards should be enough to cover language, math and general knowledge. My new “problem” is we need more variety of flashcards. Ha!
Once you get your routine settled, there will be time for the activities.
I recently met up with my mum’s friend who (16 years ago) gave up her job and practised the Doman method on her boy. He is doing well in school and she is very glad her efforts paid off. Quite inspiring to hear her first-hand experience.
(Btw, I have yet to learn the actual Doman or Shichida method.)
Shen-Li says
The Doman books go into great depths to explain how many flash cards, how frequently, how to make them down to exact specifications. E.g. words must be x inches tall, cards must be how wide and how tall. Must be written in red ink. How frequently to change the cards, etc.
My new problem is that my older boy is getting more jealous and demanding for time. He interrupts and takes my cards. I also try to do flash cards with him and it does work. He’s learned to read colours, certain animals, certain numbers (the written word), and the Thomas and Friends train engine names.
I’m sure there will be time when he’s more awake, but it’s really the physical development activities that have me stumped – especially since we need to take advantage of the early reflexes that are present at birth. Unlike the reading, math and general knowledge stuff, you can start that later when your baby is more alert.
I also forgot to add. If you have an older child or older children, then you’ll also have to do the program with them. How on Earth does one fit everything in?
MieVee @ MummysReviews.com says
To implement such comprehensive activities at home for more than one child, I’d certainly need a reliable domestic helper to handle household chores full-time.
I read somewhere that Mummy may try starting with one-to-one activities with the older child, give him some independent work to do following the activities (e.g. in another room), then move on to the younger sibling. Got to shower the older child with lots of love so that he won’t feel that Mummy is tending to the baby more. This also prevents him from doing mischievous acts to get attention.
It’s tough, so I really wonder how a family friend managed 5 children while she continued her profession as a lawyer. Her children are in their twenties and very well brought up.
My hypothesis: it’s tougher with 2 children, since #1 may feel left out when Mummy is with #2. When there are 3 or more children, the older ones can play among themselves, leaving Mummy free to tend to the youngest.
Guess when I have more children, I’d plan the optimal (not maximum) amount of activities that keep the kids and I happy with minimal amount of stress. Happy kids who feel loved tend to develop better. This is also emphasized by Doman and Shichida.
All the best, Shen-Li!