Most parents are aware that there are specific growth phases during which children are particularly rebellious. They are commonly referred to in parenting books as “The Terrible Threes” and the troublesome teenage years as children reach puberty. In the Heguru handbook, they make reference to three ages that are particularly trying for parents as their children enter a rebellious period – 3, 8, and 14 years old.
Heguru philosophy for handling children during these phases is particularly interesting. They liken these changes in children to the four seasons in a year. Although such changes are inevitable, there are methods for handling these rebellious periods that can facilitate the passage through these phases. In Heguru, they recommend the use of “open communication” and the use of “humour”.
During these growth processes, children will resist the teachings of their parents. Parents react to such rebelliousness by enforcing their authority believing that if they do no do so, they will lose parental control over their children. Heguru philosophy is that during these growth processes, parents should not take the words of their children seriously. Instead, communicate with them open-heartedly with a sense of humour and when your child smiles, you have won the game.
Just as children have periods of rebelliousness, there will also be periods of obedience. It is important for parents to apply stricter measures during these periods of obedience and to build character. Most parents, however, then to pamper their children during these periods which results in raising children who do not listen to instructions.
In other words, what parents need to do is reverse their methods of handling their children. During the periods of rebellion are when parents need to cut their children some slack, while during the periods of obedience, parents need to be more vigilant with the rules.