Nurture for the Future

Family Board Games: Rummikub

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Good executive functioning helps children succeed and one of the ways you can help children develop their executive function is to play board games.

Board Games - Rummikub

There’s a game I used to love playing as a child. It’s called Rummikub. It’s a little bit like Gin Rummy, but a lot more fun (at least, I think so). Recently, I introduced it to the boys with some modifications and the boys had fun – G1 more than G2 possibly because he grasped the concepts a lot faster.

Although the game comes with a stand to hide your tiles, we play open hand so that I can give G2 a little bit of a nudge if he can’t see a move. The goal is to get rid of all your tiles and the first player to do so is the winner.

The Rules of the Game

Everyone starts with 14 tiles and you can only put your tiles out onto the center of the board if you can form consecutive patterns in the same colour, like black 9, 10, 11, or same number in different colours, like yellow 1, blue 1, and black 1. Each group of tiles must contain a minimum of three tiles.

The first time you place a group of tiles onto the center of the board, they need to add up to a value of 30 points. We dispensed with this rule and made it allowable to enter the game as soon as the player has a group of three tiles either the same number in different colours, or a consecutive numbers in the same colour.

Once you have placed your first set of tiles out on the board, you are allowed to add tiles to any other set on the board as long as it follows the existing pattern. In the game below, any player may add a black 8 or 12 to the consecutive set, or a pink 1 to the group of ones.

Rummykub

The game gets interesting once there are more groups of tiles on the board. You are allowed to rearrange any or all of the tiles on the board so long as you end your turn with every tile on the board in a proper sequence. For example, in the game below, the player on the left adds the blue 6 and 7 to the blue sequence 3, 4, 5. This allows the player on the bottom to add the blue 8 onto the end of the sequence and remove the blue 3 to make a new blue sequence of 2, 3, 4. This leaves every tile on the board in a proper group of at least three tiles.

Rummykub Rummykub

Not only is Rummikub a fun game to play, it’s also great for the brain.

  • Working memory – while the move described above sounds simple enough, it does get a lot more complicated if you can see the patterns. It takes some serious working memory skills to rearrange the tiles in your head so that no tile is left behind on its own.
  • Focus – if you’re not paying attention to the moves on the board, you’ll miss opportunities to get rid of your tiles.

It’s really not hard to see how a game like this can strengthen executive functioning. Once G2 is a pro at this, we’ll upgrade to Mah Jong!

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Self-Regulation and the Zones of Regulation

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Some time back, I noticed posters like this in our school hallways. I found out from learning support that they were to help the children learn self-regulation. The posters were based on a concept called The Zones of Regulation.

Zones of Regulation
Source: Pinterest

What is Self-Regulation?

Self–regulation is the ability to manage disruptive emotions and impulses, and to think before you react. – Mind Tools

In school, children need to be able to self-regulate to help them be ready to learn. Children whose states of arousal are too high or too low will struggle to focus on the learning task at hand.

Update: new research links self-regulation with greater resilience in young people

Researchers have analyzed whether self-regulation would be a good predictor of resilience. This study shows that helping these young people to bounce back from adversities by acquiring self-regulation skills such as setting goals and adjusting their path after a misstep, equips them better to do well in school and in life. – Science Daily

What happens when children cannot self-regulate?

Children that are unable to self-regulate are prone to the following:

  • tantrums and outbursts
  • abusive behaviours – e.g. self abuse, punching, kicking, biting
  • emotional distress
  • inattention/distractibility
  • refusal to participate

How can we help children learn self-regulation?

To help children learn self-regulation, we need to work on their:

  • executive functioning – memory, planning and behaviour inhibition.
  • emotional regulation – initiating, inhibiting, or modulating our state or behavior in a given situation.
  • sensory integration – the process by which we receive information through our senses, organise this information, and use it to participate in everyday activities.

What are the Zones of Regulation

The following video provides a terrific summary on the Zones of Regulation and how they help children with self-regulation.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVtBWiy-VKo

The Zones of Regulation is a cognitive behaviour approach for helping students self-regulate their behaviours, emotions, and sensory needs. By using concepts and visuals to help students learn to recognise their feelings and level of arousal, it allows them to employ strategies for optimal learning.

The Zones can be compared to traffic signs.  When given a green light or in the Green Zone, one is “good to go”.  A yellow sign means be aware or take caution, which applies to the Yellow Zone.  A red light or stop sign means stop, and when one is the Red Zone, this often is the case.  The Blue Zone can be compared to the rest area signs where one goes to rest or re-energize.  All of the zones are expected at one time or another, but the curriculum focuses on teaching students how to manage their Zone based on the environment and people around them. For example, when playing on the playground or in an active/competitive game, no one would think twice about one being in the Yellow Zone but that would not be same in the library. – Zones of Regulation

Although the Zones of Regulation is often used to support the needs of children with ASD or ADHD, it is very much applicable to all children, and even adults. The ability to recognise our own state of arousal and to make the necessary adjustment so that it is appropriate for the occasion we face is something we all require to function optimally.

The Goals of the Zones of Regulation

The goals of the zones of regulation are to teach children to:

  • identify their feelings and levels of alertness
  • develop effective regulation tools
  • learn when and how to use the tools
  • problem solve positive solutions
  • understand how their behaviours influence thoughts and feelings
  • ultimately – develop independent regulation

The Four Zones of Regulation

Zones of Regulation
  • Blue Zone: low level of arousal; not ready to learn; feels sad, sick, tired, bored, moving slowly.
  • Green Zone: calm state of alertness; optimal level to learn; feels happy, calm, feeling okay, focused.
  • Yellow Zone: heightened state of alertness; elevated emotions; has some control; feels frustrated, worried, silly/wiggly, excited, loss of some control.
  • Red Zone: heightened state of alertness and intense emotions; not an optimal level for learning; out of control; feels mad/angry, terrified, yelling/hitting, elated, out of control.

What Zone are You in?

  • Blue Zone – your body is running slow, like when you’re tired, sick, sad or bored.
  • Green Zone – like a green light, you feel “good to go”. Your body may feel happy, calm and focused.
  • Yellow Zone –  when you start to lose control, like when you feel frustrated, anxious, worried, silly or surprised. Use caution when you are in this zone.
  • Red Zone – when you experience extreme emotions. When you are in this zone, you are out of control, you have trouble making good decisions, and you need to STOP!

Tools for Regulation

For the Blue Zone – increase arousal:

  • think happy thoughts
  • talk about your feelings
  • rub hands together
  • run on the spot
  • shoulder rub
  • ask for a hug
  • swinging or spinning
  • stretching or jumping jacks
  • strong scents
  • vibration
  • drink water
  • crunchy foods
  • bright lights
  • listening to loud music

For the Green Zone – maintaining:

  • keep your eyes on the teacher
  • remember your daily goals
  • finish your homework
  • think happy thoughts
  • be a good friend
  • help others
  • work hard
  • smile

For the Yellow – decrease arousal:

  • talk to my parents/friends
  • take 3 deep breaths
  • do a wall push up
  • use a fidget
  • go for a walk
  • take a break
  • read
  • deep pressure
  • slow movement
  • heavy work to muscles
  • soft lighting
  • listen to music
  • chewy foods

For the Red Zones – decrease arousal:

  • take three deep breaths
  • how big is my problem – the size of your reaction should match the size of the problem. How big do others see the problem? How big should your reaction be?
  • jump on a trampoline
  • relax your muscles
  • talk to an adult
  • sensory break
  • push the wall
  • count to 20
  • walk away
  • STOP!
  • deep pressure
  • slow movement
  • heavy work to muscles
  • soft lighting
  • listen to music
  • chewy foods

Common Questions on the Zones of Regulation

Can you be in more than one zone at a time?

Yes. Your child may feel tired (blue zone) because she did not get enough sleep, and anxious (yellow zone) because she is worried about an activity or contest at school. Listing more than one zone reflects a good sense of personal feelings and alertness levels.

Should children be penalised for being in the RED zone?

It’s best for children to experience the natural consequences of being in the RED zone. If a child’s actions/choices hurt someone or destroys property, he needs to repair the relationship and take responsibility for the mess they create. Once the child has calmed down, use the experience as a learning opportunity to process what the child would do differently next time.

Can you look like one zone on the outside and feel like you are in another zone on the inside?

Yes. Many of us “disguise” our zone to match social expectations. We use the expression “put on a happy face” or mask the emotion so other people will have good thoughts about us. Parents often say that their children “lose it” and goes into the RED zone as soon as they get home. This is because children are increasing their awareness of their peers and expectations. They make every effort to keep it together at school to stay in the GREEN zone. Home is when they feel safe to let it all out.

Tips for Practicing the Zones of Regulation

  • Know yourself and how you react in difficult situations before dealing with your child’s behaviours.
  • Know your child’s sensory threshold. We all process sensory information differently and it impacts our reactivity to situations.
  • Know your child’s triggers.
  • Be consistent in managing your child’s behaviour and use the same language you use at home.
  • Empathise with your child and validate what they are feeling.
  • Have clear boundaries/routines and always follow through.
  • Do not deal with an angry, upset child when you are not yet calm yourself.
  • Discuss strategies for the next time when you are in a similar situation.
  • Remember to ask your child how their choices made you feel (empathy).
  • Praise your child for using strategies. Encourage your child to take a sensory break to help regulate their bodies.

Make a Coping Skills Box

What is it?

A coping skills box is a place to keep things that help to calm you down in periods of distress. Having everything gathered in one place helps you remember to use your coping skills rather than using negative behaviours.

What to put in it?

1. Self-Soothing Objects that help to calm you through your five senses:

Sensory Tools on Amazon

2. Distractions to take your mind off the problem for a while, e.g. puzzles, books, artwork, crafts, knitting, crocheting, sewing, crossword puzzles, sudoku, positive websites, music, movies, etc.

3. Opposite action – do something that is opposite to your impulse that is consistent with a more positive emotion:

  • affirmations and inspiration – e.g. looking at drawings or motivational statements
  • something funny or cheering – e.g. funny movies, books

4. Emotional Awareness – tools for identifying and expressing your feelings, e.g. a chart of emotions, a journal, writing supplies, art supplies.

5. Mindfulness – tools for centering and grounding yourself in the present moment, e.g. meditation or relaxation recordings, grounding objects (rock, paperweight), yoga mat, breathing exercises.

5. Crisis Plan – contact info of supports and resources for when coping skills aren’t enough, e.g. family/friends, therapist, psychiatrist, hotline.

Put it all together

Once you have gathered everything, put them together into a box and decorate it. Keep the box in a place where you’ll remember it and USE IT!

What can I do problem solving wheel
Image Source: Pinterest

See also: Essential Life Skills for Kids – Stress Management

Sensory Break: Sensory Activities for Sensory Integration

Some time back I wrote about sensory processing disorders (SPD) identifying sensory difficulties that affect some children and the sensory integration activities that can help address their sensory hotspots. The following image helps teachers and parents identify some of the common sensory hotspots that some children may have:

Sensory activities that can help children with these hotspots may be proprioceptive, vestibular, or tactile in nature.

Proprioception

Proprioception is the sense of knowing the relative positions of the various parts of our bodies and strength of effort we employ during a movement. Children with proprioceptive needs can benefit from the following activities:

  • carrying heavy baskets or objects
  • jumping jacks
  • leaning against a wall or table palm presses
  • pushing or pulling boxes; wheelbarrow walk
  • jumping on a trampoline
  • crawling through a tunnel
  • pushing against objects, wall push-ups
  • standing on toes and stretching
  • finger fidgets

Vestibular

The vestibular system is responsible for the sense of balance and spatial orientation for the purpose of coordinating movement with balance. Children with vestibular sensory needs can benefit from the following activities:

  • bounce on a yoga ball
  • walk on a balance beam
  • bear/crab/snake walk
  • roll neck slowly in a circular movement
  • imitation game – e.g. Simon Says
  • gentle rocking
  • jump up and down; try to touch the door frame
  • sit and spin / yoga seat
  • roll on the mat

Tactile

Tactile sensory needs can be fulfilled with “touch” activities, such as the following:

Sensory Activities at Home

When your child needs a sensory break at home, try these activities:

  • “kid-sandwich” – pushing down on them between two pillows
  • “kid-burrito” – rolling them in lycra and gently pressing down and pretending to eat them
  • roll out the “cookie dough” with a yoga ball firmly over the back and limbs
  • pillow fight
  • mopping or sweeping the floor
  • stirring cookie dough or cake batter
  • jumping jacks
  • chewing gym, eating crunchy foods (pretzels carrots, small ice chips, or sipping water from a cup with a thick straw while doing seated work)
  • pushing or pulling boxes or laundry baskets with a few toys or books in it
  • carrying or pushing pillowcases of stuff animals around the house
  • helping with chores, pulling a heavy trash can, vacuuming, water plants
  • removing couch cushions, piling them on the floor and “crashing” into them
  • roller-skating uphill, ice skating, jumping rope, marching, hopping and skipping
  • walking on a treadmill set to go uphill
  • pulling other kids around on a sheet or blanket
  • crawling through a t-shirt tunnel
  • yard work, such as raking leaves, pushing the wheelbarrow, water the flowers
  • shoveling sand into a bucket
  • crossing monkey bars
  • swinging on a swing
  • pulling heavy items in a wagon

More Resources:

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Tools of the Mind – Creating a Play Plan

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Tools of the Mind helps a child develop “executive function” in the prefrontal cortex. It helps a child plan, predict, control impulses, persist through trouble, and orchestrate thoughts to fulfill a goal. Children learn how to avoid distraction, and become self-organised and self-directed.

I first heard about Tools of the Mind when I read the book “Nurture Shock“.  I was so impressed with the benefits of the program, I went in search for more information on how to implement it, since we didn’t have any Tools of the Mind schools, and managed to find a book by Elena Bodrova.  While the book had good information in it, I found it difficult to implement the program with Gavin.

One of the features of the program involves getting children to create a “play plan” before they engage in any play activities.  The play plan is essentially like a daily schedule an adult might create to organise her day except that it involves the child writing and drawing a series of activities he plans to do during his play time.  At the time I read the book, Gavin could barely draw, let alone write so I couldn’t see how he could create a play plan before play time.  That was before I had seen an example of a play plan and understood what a play plan entailed.

Recently, my BFF sent me a copy of a Tools of the Mind study which contained examples of play plans drawn by children. Here is one example:

As you can see, the concept of the play plan is actually pretty basic. You don’t even have to have a list of activities that your child is going to do. It can be a single event in her schedule, such as “I am going to watch the pumpkins grow” as in the example above. If she cannot write out what it is she intends to do, the teacher will write it out for her. In other examples of play plans, the children attempt to write out what they intend to do and the teacher will make the necessary corrections.

The idea of the play plan is merely to get a child to think ahead of time and make a plan about it. The action of drawing and writing it down helps to cement in your child’s mind the decision to do that particular activity. We all know that children shift focus very easily. First he wants to read a book, if you don’t get to the book in five minutes – or less – he will want to play trains. The play plan is to help him stay focused.

What if your child can’t draw? That’s the benefit of homeschooling and having one parent to one child – you can talk to your child about what he wants to do and draw a picture together (you can get your child to colour in the picture). Alternatively, although I think it might be less effective, you can talk it through with your child. The purists might frown on this adaptation of the play plan but it’s what I do with Gavin in the car on the way home from school.

Me: what would you like to do when we get home?
Gavin: read.
Me: how many books shall we read?
Gavin: five books.
Me: which books do you want to read?
Gavin: Thomas.
Me: which Thomas books are you going to choose?

The benefit of talking it through with your child (which I believe is something you should do even if you’re going to draw the play plan) is that you can help to direct your child. For instance, when I want Gavin to broaden his reading, I might direct the conversation as follows:

Me: which books do you want to read?
Gavin: Thomas.
Me: Okay, that’s one book. What else would you like to read – Dr Seuss?

Yet another method of doing the play plan which we borrowed from “Special Agent Oso” on PlayHouse Disney is to do the 3 Special Steps. If you’ve never watched this program, let me give you a brief background. The show begins with a special assignment given to Agent Oso (who is a bear). The assignment involves Oso helping a child learn to do something, for instance, fix a jigsaw puzzle. Oso will have trouble doing the assignment and there will be help along the way. Oso will be given instructions in the form of 3 special steps that he has to follow in order to complete the assignment. In the example of the jigsaw puzzle, it was:

Step 1: Find the corners.
Step 2: Complete the border.
Step 3: Fill in the missing center pieces.

In Gavin’s case, we will have ‘x’ special steps to get through the rest of the day. For instance:

Step 1: Eat lunch.
Step 2: Take a shower.
Step 3: Play trains.
Step 4: Ride the bike.
Step 5: Eat dinner.
Step 6: Shower and change into pajamas.
Step 7: Read a story.
Step 8: Lights out.
Step 9: Sleep.

As I said, I don’t know if this is as effective as drawing out a play plan but it’s what I’ve been doing with Gavin for quite a while and I reckon his executive function is developing quite well. Then again, he’s still only my study of one.

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Raising Successful Children

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